The Lovers (Major Arcana card 6) is often a welcomed sight in any Tarot spread. Many times when I give a reading, a client will point to the card and say something like, “Oooh…that looks good!” When I hear statements like this, I often chuckle and then explain there are no “good” or “bad” cards in Tarot.
Let’s be honest, people. Nobody starts jumping up and down with unbridled excitement when the Tower, Death or the Devil show up in a spread. Even the most experienced readers take a pause and carefully survey the setting when any of these cards appear. Now imagine how an average person presenting an inquiry about the state of an important relationship would respond to this. It doesn’t take years of experience with the Tarot to know that certain cards suggest a less-than-harmonious outcome for a given situation.
But if the truth be told, you cannot determine how things will turn out on simply one card. For the record, a “positive” card doesn’t promise a perfect outcome, and a “bad” card does not confirm a horrible endings either. It is important to keep this in mind during a reading because we all desire the black-and-white, happily-ever-after ending.
This desire for a perfect ending is what makes the Lovers card so enticing. Just looking at this card, you can’t help but feel a hopeful energy associated with it. Depending on the artist and the deck, you will most likely experience a mood of sensual optimism. There is a dynamic – often sexual – connection between the individuals in the image.
When the Lovers card appears it is often talking about a union of souls. It can be an intimate connection between two people. There may also be symbols that suggest this connection goes beyond the physical realm. You may see angels, flames, fruit, the sun, and general abundance. This can refer to deeper ties that result in mental and spiritual connections between the client and another.
Sounds great doesn’t it? Now you can see why everyone would want this card to appear in a spread.
Not so fast! What can be regularly missed in the meaning of this card are the deeper, more subtle concepts. This card is a reminder of the lessons the soul must first learn in order to have a successful relationship with anyone else.
The Lovers card tells us of the need for a union within the soul of the individual posing the question. It reminds us that we must first unite and heal our own soul before we can hope to have a healthy relationship with another. After that we must then be clear on what we believe about ourselves and about love. We must be confident and complete on our own before we can ever successfully merge with another soul.
This leads us to the last element of the Lovers card. Sometimes the card comes into a spread to remind us that we need to make some important decisions about the direction of our life. It is only by feeling this completion in our own Being that we are able to make decisions about sharing our lives, gifts and ideas others. Sometimes, this card is about figuring out what you need to do, what decisions you must make and what actions you must take in order to live the life you were meant to live.
The Lovers card is indeed about relationships. It’s about love and all the wonderful things that spring from it. However, this card tells of a deeper lesson we all must learn. The lesson is this: Before we can truly experience the love of another, we must first experience the greatest love of all – the love of our true self.